Intuitive painting in watercolor on Bristol paper
14” x 17”
3/2024
Title: "Dreaming With My Ancestors"
Is it only a dream if I remember what you said the last time I heard your voice?
Is it only a dream if I remember what you wore the last time I saw you?
Is it only a dream if I remember the last time I hugged you and I said, “Dad, drive home safe, I love you”?
The Chumash Elder, who performed your memorial, told me to watch for signs from you that you were near- feathers falling from the sky, the call of an Owl, Hawks flying overhead, Hummingbirds zipping between flowers and pausing in front of me.
Last night was such a night that was full of signs as I lay in bed, unable to fall back asleep at 3 AM.
This early morning insomnia being a common occurrence lately as I struggle through the riptide of change- I know it’s there and I shouldn’t fight it but the impulse is to frantically swim when I need to surrender and just float myself out to sea.
I hear a soothing sound that grounds me. It is a familiar voice outside my window from the pine trees, a deep, low pitched conversation from a pair of Great Horned Owls. They are talking to each other. Their low pitched sound soothing my uncomfortable restlessness, as I lay there for 15 minutes meditating on gratitude.
Now, I am gently guided back to sleep where I will walk with you once again, grandma is there too and she is still reminding me to eat and sit up straight. The sun is brighter here, and the colors are more vivid. You have the biggest smile on your face. I don’t know if you are happy to see me again, or proud of me, or both. Lately, I’d like to think you are proud of me.
We all walk together along a wooded path not quite seeing what’s ahead. You turn to me and say, “Something wonderful is on the way”, and I hold those words close to my heart as an armor against the stress of coming days and to calm the deep ache of missing you.
The next night I will hear the owls and I’ll think of you again and wish you a most blessed and peaceful journey. At night when I fall back asleep, I’ll dream of you as it is the one way we can walk together again.
Love and aloha to You and Your ancestors. Hug your loved ones, you never know when it will be the last time.
With Aloha,
Mika Harmony mikaharmony.com